“I know they were just kids when they came,” my detractor emphasized the youthfulness in which we came, our innocence and carefully constructed their sentences to sound sympathetic even if hastily done. “But they have to go back.” they dropped the statement cold and lifelessly. It was all meant to be soft but firm.
‘They have to go back’. They have a small understanding of what that would look like. But they must defend THEIR “country”, THEIR “America”, THEIR “culture”, THEIR “laws”. If only they knew what their misunderstanding of their concepts of everything meant.
‘They have to go back’ means my parents and I living in fear of deportation. It means my sisters who are citizens and young girls having no one to support them in the US. It means my parents and I going underground to pay for everything, raise them, and help them get into a good college. It could mean us moving back with them where my sisters and I will be forced to assimilate and live in a country we barely know. My sisters security, safely, and educational/future prospects will be in jeopardy despite their birthright citizenship. A degree from where I’m from wouldn’t matter in many countries. The violence, lack of property laws, and governmental instability wouldn’t be something my sisters and I would be prepared to handle. But staying in the US would mean constant fear of being separated and my sisters having no one if deportation proceedings went into effect for us.
I was told to wait for a pathway toward citizenship to open up by many lawyers. I didn’t have any available and still don’t to this day. I’m waiting to see what the president, congress and others will do. If anything will come out of it. I’ll wait to see if immigration to another country is feasible. Otherwise I might have to go back to a country I haven’t seen since I was five. I’m not sure what I’ll find, or if I could afford the adjustment.
For now I have a year and 7 months until my DACA expires. My countdown has no known end result. It could mean deportation, it could mean me going underground, it could mean I’ll renew it if it’s kept in place and reacted. Or maybe I’ll get a visa somewhere else. Who’s to guess?